My YTT Journey
I’ve always been a nurturing person. At a very young age, I was placed in the role of caring for myself, my cousins, and my sister. Empathy came as second nature as it was effortless for me to show love and be kind. I knew that whatever career I chose, it was going to be to help others in some way. I remember wanting to be a motivational speaker and a teacher, and it all led to me becoming a hairdresser, where I could do all of those things under that title. I was also a very active child. I loved and still do adore the outdoors and nature. It spoke to me and just brought life into my world. I was and still am so intrigued and fascinated by the creations on this earth.
A couple of years before Covid, I took up yoga and fell in love. As I mentioned, I’ve always been very active; when I started doing yoga, it was a calmer way to exercise and move my body. It was a beautiful stress release. I remember telling my friends that I was taking yoga classes, and the response wasn’t really what I expected it to be. I was cautioned to be careful that some of the poses may be demonic. Therefore, I took it upon myself to enroll in a course to gain a clear understanding, as I never want to put anything or anyone above the God I serve. I needed to understand yoga better, and I have no regrets. I am delighted that I took the YTT course because not only do I know the practice, but I am also more knowledgeable about how this practice can help improve your health and bring you peace of mind. It does assist you in finding yourself. I remember one day just breaking down after a yoga class because I felt like this practice was what I needed in my life. I finally found a space where I belonged. I was free of judgment, and the real me was welcomed.
After my father's passing, I was so angry, just mad at the world, and yoga helped to calm me. It helped tremendously in processing and accepting my identity and made the grieving process more manageable. Taking this course has been a journey. I can’t describe or find a word or phrase that is fitting to explain how this experience has been. Throughout this path of my yoga teacher training, I can say it was initially bumpy. I was very frustrated with the course, my instructor, and the other students in the class because I did not feel I was getting the information or instruction I needed. Yes, looking back, there are some things that I would change, and when I mention that, I believe that this course outline could be run smoother in a way that the students can take in the information and learn and process it instead of winging it. At one point, I did feel like I was winging it. And I don’t mean any disrespect; in my opinion, the information in this course could have been received better by me had different teaching methods been incorporated. We are taught to be mindful of diverse students in this practice, and I feel the same should be applied while learning. In hindsight, I wish I had taken advantage of more one-on-one time offered throughout the course because I felt more confident after, and I am grateful for that opportunity. I also wish I didn’t have to work so I could have been more dedicated to my studies.
In this course, I had to take yoga classes, specifically at Cary Yoga Collective, but also at different locations. Some places made me feel uncomfortable as my smiles were followed with blank stares, not even a wave or a slight salutation, while some made me feel right at home. I would say that, as a whole, some yoga studios and the people participating in this practice need to understand the meaning of yoga. Yoga means union, and everyone doesn’t know how to unite. Even when I am not the only person of color in the room, there is still an energy of “Why is she here?” In this experience, I have been more accepted in this community by the opposite race than my own, which is disheartening.
One of the primary reasons I decided to take this course is to enlighten people of color on this practice and the many benefits it has to offer. There is a lot of healing that needs to take place, and I would love to be the light that shines some awareness on this practice in my community. I have learned so much about myself, my body, and how to deal with others, and I am very excited to share in hopes of healing in more ways than one.
